Insecurities have made me hungry;;Gautam Gambhir

He’s only a small man but if you saw him bat for over 10 hours in Napier to save a Test, you’ll know he has a big heart.

Gautam Gambhir’s journey in cricket has been all about absorbing pressure. So we’re putting him under some more. The Gambhir HT met was many men in one. At one level intense like Dravid, at another driven like Ganguly, and separately, married to the game, like Tendulkar. We think he’s India’s next captain. Over to Gambhir.

What does leadership mean to you?
Responsibility. Honour. A leader must motivate, must give players the freedom to play at their best. He has to be a man manager who knows his team inside out. You have to identify players who can win you games, empower them and back them.

You take a lot of pride in what you do …
Pride comes from the passion with which I have played cricket, right from under-14s to the Indian team. The toughest thing in my life has been earning the India cap. That’s why there’s never any shortage of passion when I pull on an India or Delhi cap.

When you’re batting there’s an unmistakable hunger. Where does that come from?
I’ve been hungry because insecurities still far outweigh the securities in my mind. At every level it’s been now or never, like I had to perform in the next game or be dropped. That insecurity has gone so deep into my system that I can’t get rid of it. Despite being ranked No. 1 (in Tests), I still feel that one bad performance and I’ll be out of the team. This also keeps me down to earth because though I’m seeing the good parts of life now, I’ve seen the dark side. There could be a time in the future that I might face this again.

You talk about the importance of being yourself. Sometimes you’re a kid among legends, at others you seem an angry young man. What is the real Gambhir?
That’s a good question. Sometimes I’m relaxed, light-hearted, talkative, cracking jokes and trying to be funny. Sometimes I’m intense. If I don’t make runs I get into my shell, put pressure on myself and try and get very intense. I’ve realised that when I play Test cricket, I relax more and enjoy the game. I want to keep things light, but it’s not easy for me. It still feels like the next innings I play could be the last for my country.

You work very well in partnerships. What makes this possible?
I’ve always loved taking responsibility. When I’m given responsibility, I try and take my game to another level. When I’m under pressure, I find a new level to my game and start concentrating more. When the team is under pressure or needs someone to stand up, I try and shut everything out and just bat, bat and bat. If there’s one thing that gives me maximum happiness as a human being, it’s scoring runs. This has been my life since I started playing cricket. The way I’ve been brought up is that you have to score runs to be in the side. This is so ingrained in me that the only thing that gives me happiness is to bat long and score runs. I’ve been lucky to be part of some great partnerships and that’s probably because I just love being at the crease.

If captaincy of the Indian team comes to you, how would you approach it?
If you ask any kid who plays cricket, the ultimate dream is to lead India. It’s the greatest honour possible to be leader of a team of a country of one billion people where cricket is a religion. If ever it comes to me I will try and take my game to another level.

Leadership isn’t just about runs or wickets. We rarely hear any wild stories about you. Have you consciously tried to maintain a certain image?
That’s just the kind of person I am. I’m quite reserved and not the party type. I don’t drink, never have. I like to spend my time with people who really matter to me. I’ve never made a conscious effort to keep my image a certain way. Cricket has always been the priority. After cricket, I don’t know what I’ll be like, but while I’m playing for my country this is how I’ll be. People look up to you and expect you to be a role model. If you are a cricketer in India, you are sometimes treated like a god.
That automatically means you have to maintain a certain decorum.